A couple of years ago, halfway through Grade 12, my two oldest switched high schools. Thanks to a family move which took us out of their former high school area, they went from a school with less than 800 students to one with over 1,800.

Although it was a bit of a culture shock, within a few days at the new school, they quickly adapted and adjusted. They both learned which hallways and staircases to avoid, which washrooms were safe, and which cafeteria tables they should sit at. And which one's they shouldn't.

But sometimes, as some students in a Burlington high school learned last month, there is no way to avoid a confrontation or being targeted at school. It doesn't matter which hallway or staircase you take, or which cafeteria table you sit at. Sometimes you can find yourself in a situation that is completely beyond your control.

It's every parent's nightmare.

Last month, five Burlington teenagers, on their first day of Grade 9, were subjected to a hazing ritual known as "getting gummered." They were on their way home from school when two cars pulled up, filled with Grade 11 and 12 students. After ordering the Grade 9s into an isolated area, the older students beat them with wooden paddles. And then, using markers, they drew nines on their faces.

The article from the Globe and Mail reports that the Grade 9 students weren't hospitalized, but that they were beaten hard enough to produce bruises. Two of the older students were in police custody the next day, facing charges of assault with a weapon.

In the article, a Grade 11 student who attends the school said that it happens every year. He also claimed it's "not a big deal" to the student body.

Hmmm. Maybe not a big deal to those students whom, like him apparently, have never been the target of one of those bullying scenarios at public school. But perhaps a bigger deal to those Grade 9 students who were forced, against their will, to participate in a degrading and physically painful 'ritual.'

My two oldest are now in their second year of university. Last September, when they were starting their first year, I was concerned about the possibility of hazing. But since I associate university hazing mainly with sports teams and out-of-control drinking games, I assumed it was something that could mostly be avoided.

In other words, I considered it within my kids' control whether or not to participate.

But those Grade 9 students were just walking home from school. They certainly didn't choose to participate in what happened next. They had no control.

I've been thinking about those Grade 9 kids lately, wondering if they - and their parents - can ever feel that high school is a safe place again after what happened to them. Something like this can ruin an entire school year.

How do we prevent something like this from occurring again in the future? Is it even realistic to hope that we can?

By coming forward and involving the police, those Grade 9 students and their parents have already taken the first step. They refused to pretend or to go along with the idea that what happened to them is just part of some 'harmless school tradition.' Or rite of passage.

For those who might try to kid themselves by thinking that what happened to those students in Burlington last month was a rare event, unlikely to happen again, don't. It already has.

A story from the CBC reports 25 students were suspended from a high school in Manitoba last month. Another story reports 17 students in Edmonton expelled for hazing some younger students in Grade 10. I'm sure there will be more.

Is hazing now spreading from the university environment to high school? Or was it there all along and we're just now seeing more students coming forward to report on their attackers?

Although only a small percentage of those who get involved in these kinds of attacks ever get charged, fortunately, this might soon change.

"This is something that can't be tolerated," said Detective Jeff Hill of Halton Regional Police to the Globe and Mail in an earlier interview.

"We have to send a message. Parents want to know that their kids are safe."

Officers investigating the Burlington case made it clear that they will treat future incidents harshly: "Hazing is socially unacceptable," Det. Hill said. "Criminal charges are the right response. Students need to feel secure."

I can't help but wonder and worry about those victims who don't come forward. Those kids who keep silent about the abuse and humiliation they felt at the hands of their fellow (and usually older) students. They need to feel secure, too.

All of our kids do.

When it comes to future university applications, good grades and extracurricular activities might not be the only filters.

According to Torben Drewes, an economist at Trent University, universities might have to start thinking of men as a 'disadvantaged group' when it comes to post-secondary education.

Meaning a third filter: gender.

The university gender gap is growing. The Association of Universities and Colleges in Canada reports that in 2006, 56 per cent of Canadian undergraduates were women. Compare this number to the early 1970s, when more than two-thirds of university graduates in their mid-20s were men.

So why are men now so heavily outnumbered on campus? In a study released earlier this week, "The University Gender Gap: The Role of High School Grades," Drewes suggests a simple answer: girls study more than boys. They get better high-school marks, which in turn gets them into university.

Makes sense, right? If you study hard, the payoff includes higher marks and entry into university. But who needs a study to tell us that?

Interestingly, according to the study, the fact that girls study more accounts for just under half of the difference between male and female grades. Maybe the answer isn't so simple after all.

The other half, Drewes explains, is due to girls' "greater efficiency in converting a given amount of study time into a grade." Meaning, girls don't just study more. They also study better.

So what, if anything, should universities be doing about this? Should they lower admission criteria for male applicants? Is it even a university's responsibility to maintain a gender balance?

Effort isn't the only factor. So how are girls studying 'better'? In an interview with the Ottawa Citizen, Drewes said something in the high school system "rewards girls more than boys." However, that doesn't mean he's in favour of creating lower university entry standards for males. "That seems wrong."

I have five children, one girl and four boys. Interestingly, Jenny, my oldest, has always had the highest marks among my five kids. Of course, her three youngest brothers are only 4, 11, and 13. But even comparing how she did at their ages and grades, her marks were always higher.

Why?

I always assumed it's because Jenny has an incredible work ethic. She's a well-organized student who makes school and homework a priority. During her years in public school, unlike her younger brothers, I never had to remind her to do her homework, or lecture her about studying harder.

I've never considered her gender as a possible factor in her academic success.

The study concluded that the difference between male and female grades can be explained by girls not only studying more, but also studying more efficiently than boys. Makes sense to me.

Sounds like our girls can teach the boys a thing or two.

When it comes to university, it's never too early to start planning for success.

The choice between academic and applied courses in high school is only the first step. Once your child is on the path to university, what tools and options are available to help prepare them for that goal?

Because for some students, the high school-university jump is a complete culture shock.

Suddenly, they have to juggle five classes instead of four. A semester is compressed into 12 concentrated weeks instead of five months.

Depending on which degree they're pursuing, they might have several tutorials and labs.

With the Advanced Placement (AP) program, students can ease into the higher academic demands and stress of university - while still in high school. There are 37 AP courses to choose from, including calculus, chemistry, computer science, music theory, art history, and Chinese language and culture. Because the course demands are comparable to university level courses, the program is an internationally recognized standard of academic excellence. AP students may also be granted advanced placement or credit at universities.

My two oldest, Jenny and Scott, were shocked by the difference in pace between high school and university. They were both excellent students in high school, disciplined about homework and assignments, with great GPAs. Yet their first semester at the University of Waterloo had them both scrambling for a while just to catch up.

I still remember their amazement at how much was covered in just the first two weeks of classes. The first week of physics lectures covered everything they had learned from grades 9 to 12.

Although offered in 510 Canadian high schools, with more than 13,000 Canadian students enrolled in 2008, it isn't available yet in the Cornwall area where my kids attended high school (except for one semester). I wish it had been. For my two oldest, I think it would have been a good fit.

Instead of feeling overwhelmed by the course load during their first semester, the pace would have felt familiar. And if they had been able to make use of transfer credits, their course load could have been reduced from five classes a semester to four - a huge help for such a challenging transition.

Last week I wrote about the International Baccalaureate (IB) Program, which is often described as being a "passport" to post-secondary education. So how is AP different from IB?

Both offer an enriched academic experience for your child. Both can result in larger entrance scholarships for university. (And both are two-letter acronyms.)

The main difference: flexibility.

Whereas IB is a rigorous, all-encompassing specific and rigid curriculum, AP can be tailored to your child's individual interests and academic strengths.

IB = rigorous curriculum

AP = individually tailored curriculum

Both programs demand discipline, a strong work ethic, and above average study habits.

Unlike my two oldest, my 13-year-old son, David, does have the options of IB and AP available to him. Both programs are offered where we live now, in Kitchener. But I’m still not sure what would be in his best interest. These programs mean a level of commitment not all kids are prepared or able to make. David doesn't seem interested in either program at the moment.

As a parent, how do you decide which program, if either, is best suited for your child? Our ambitions for our children's academic future shouldn't play a leading role when it comes to making these kinds of decisions. In order to truly succeed in the AP or IB program, a student has to want to be involved and ready to make the enormous commitment that both programs require.

When it comes to my son David, I'm still not sure which path he'll ultimately choose. Just like the IB program, AP is a wonderful opportunity. For the right student.

So what's the first step in deciding which program is right for your child? Perhaps the realization that neither is a good fit. And that's okay, too.