Posts tagged with 44.

A girl can get pregnant the first time?

Kathy Dobson, June 10, 2009 at 11:28 AM

 

My 13-year-old son David's entire grade seven class was gathered in the gym when the health nurse broke the news. "Most of you have contracted a sexually transmitted disease." Only the condom-users and the abstinent had been spared.

Just before entering the gym, every student in the class had been handed a card. Although they didn't know it at the time, that small piece of cardboard dictated if they had had unprotected sex, oral sex, were abstinent, used a condom, or had an STD.

After crowding into the gym, the students were told to gather signatures from two other students, one boy and one girl. And then from a third person they didn't know.

Then the health nurse asked everyone with 'D' written on their cards to please stand up. After informing them that they had an STD, the nurse asked anyone who had one of these students' signatures to also stand.

A quarter of the class was now standing. Anyone who had one of their signatures was also asked to stand up. Soon, nobody was seated anymore.

Six degrees of separation. The health class edition.

But the nurse wasn't finished yet. "If you have 'A' written on your card, you're abstinent and you can sit down. If you have 'C' written on your card, you used a condom. You can also sit down." Several students had 'CB' written on their card, which meant their condoms had broken.

They had to remain standing. Only four students were now seated.

Everybody else had contracted an STD. It was a powerful message, and one that David will never forget.

"I was so glad I'd been wearing a condom!" joked my 13-year-old later, as he shared his lesson in the gym with the rest of the family.

My husband and I speak openly about sexuality with all of our children.

This includes discussions about condoms, STDs, and, yes, also abstinence as a genuine option. But I still appreciate and welcome my kids receiving additional education on all of those issues while at school.

My son David was hugely impressed by the vivid message demonstrated that day in the school gym. Yes, he's heard his father and me explain that sometimes condoms can break. And the value of waiting until you're in a committed relationship before engaging in sex.

But that lesson in the gym really helped my son connect the dots. And in a way he might not have by just listening to me or his father claim how easily an STD can be spread around.

Yet it's exactly the kind of lesson that could end up being targeted by new legislation in Alberta.

Like parents everywhere else in Canada, whether official or not, Alberta parents already had the option to pull their children out of classes on sexual orientation. Or religion. Or just about anything else they find offensive. But thanks to this new legislation, any lesson that mentions religion, human sexuality or sexual orientation is given a huge red flag: Parents must first receive advance written notice, or the school board risks facing a human rights complaint.

Does this mean the next time a kid asks the teacher if he can get his girlfriend pregnant if it's their first time having sex, the teacher risks a human rights complaint if he or she actually dares to answer the question?

Perhaps not. But I would hate to be that first teacher on the front line to test the boundaries of the new legislation.

Although I pride myself on being the kind of parent whose children can ask me anything, I was shocked by what shocked my son that day in the gym. I asked him over dinner what, if anything, surprised him in health class.

"One of the movies we watched said a girl can get pregnant the first time she has sex!" said David.

I've actually made a point of sharing that particular fact many times over the years with all of my kids. Apparently, some things can't be repeated too many times.

I can't help but wonder: What are we afraid of as parents? That our belief system and personal values - those values we've been teaching and preaching to our children all these years - can't risk any scrutiny? That our children are so malleable, simply exposing them to alternative beliefs will somehow erode our own? Don't we want to raise a generation of critical thinkers? Are we afraid that teachers will do it 'better'?

Or worse, make it obvious that we, as parents, have failed our children in such a crucial way?

I haven't always agreed with some of the things my children have been taught at school. But some of those lessons have led to some of the most important discussions and debates at home that we've ever had.

Bill 44 makes it possible for parents to file human rights complaints against teachers and school districts in Alberta. This legislation is being heralded as an affirmation of the right of parents to be the primary educators of their children on subjects that deal with religion and sexuality. In other words, the really sensitive stuff, since it deals directly with values and personal beliefs.

But it means a parent's right to keep their child ignorant about sexuality is also now enshrined in law.

(Editor: Read the previous news story on this issue.)

 

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