Nerds of the world unite (in a club, at least)
As you progress through the four to n years of your undergraduate university education, your perspective on the value of a university education will undergo a number of shifts.
At certain points, you'll likely feel that the sole merit of attending university is that it teaches you how to learn everything there is to know on a particular subject and then promptly forget it all immediately after being examined on it. There are other times when it seems as if all you're going to have to show after four years and $20,000 is a merit badge for Extraordinary Prowess in Note-Taking Using the Four-Colour Clicky Pen and Mini-Ruler. And there are many, many periods during which it appears that the single greatest benefit of a university education is that it perfects your ability to ferret out free food and cheap beer from miles away. As an aside, while your cramming and clicky-pen skills will fade over time, the free food instinct never, never dulls. I still feel a disruption in the force every time free pizza shows up within a 5km radius.
After several years in whatever variant of The Real World you end up in, however, you will realize that the point of university was, in fact, to equip you with the skills you need in order to be someone who is actually capable of doing an Important Job in said Real World. If we went directly from high school to high-level jobs, astronomers would be naming new planets things like "My Dick", architects tasked with designing a new city block would turn in perfect copies of Halo 3 levels, and the biological sciences would focus solely on sex at the expense of everything else.
While it would be sort of cool to have a business card that read Chief Executive Officer in Charge of Awesome, it really is better for all involved if we take a little time to ripen on the university vine. One of the best things you can do to facilitate this ripening is to expand your social horizons by joining a club.
Indeed, extracurricular activities are one of the most significant benefits of attending university and many times, it is the interests and skills you develop through those pursuits that have a greater hand in influencing your career path than does your choice of degree.
I could spend the remainder of this column preaching some inspirational drivel about following your heart, but it's nothing you couldn't get off some cheap poster with a picture of a gusty kitten on it. Instead, I will tell you about a club that all of you are welcome to join. A club that started on the UBC campus but quickly found internet-wide fame. A club for nerds. A club for beer.
A club called the Order of The Science Scouts of Exemplary Repute and Above Average Physique.
O.O.T.S.S.O.E.R.A.A.A.P, as it shall henceforth be referred to, came about one evening nearly two years ago at one of UBC's finer purveyors of ethanol-based spirits. A mixed bag of grad students, post-docs and faculty, all of whom worked in various and sundry aspects of science communication, came together under the auspices of discussing a new science journalism endeavour. Well, more accurately we came because our mutual friend, the man who was to become our Lord Baden Powell, promised to buy us a round.
Later that evening, our hearts buoyed by the prospect of finding like-minded nerds and warmed by the liquor, we decided to make our meetings a more regular affair. Somewhere around the third meeting, one of our number pointed out that attending these regular meetings was not dissimilar to going to Scouts or Brownies as a youth, save for the fact that instead of building popsicle stick birdhouses, we just sat around and drank.
Sensing a theme that could be exploited for comedic value, we seized upon the Scout motif and ran with it. Various ideas for merit badges on the theme of science were tossed around, and within days we had a credo, a website http://www.scq.ubc.ca/order-of-the-science-scouts-of-exemplary-repute-and-above-average-physique/ and virtual badges thanks to the efforts of our Baden Powell, Dave Ng. Founding member and part-time rock star Jeffrey Helm also provided us with our theme song, "Increase the n", a guitar-driven ode to the issue of sampling size and statistical significance whose lyrics were later published in Nature (thereby making Mr. Helm the only founding member eligible to receive the "Worship Me - I've published in Nature or Science" merit badge).
In what is surely to go down as O.O.T.S.S.O.E.R.A.A.A.P's second-finest moment, we even had an entire BoingBoing post devoted to our little organization, at which point interest in our project and membership in our Facebook group http://ubc.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2386691999&ref=mf soared. In case you are wondering about our finest moment, that would be when SEED Magazine gave us free beer money. We are easily bought.
We, the founding members of O.O.T.S.S.O.E.R.A.A.A.P, would like nothing better than to see nerds across the globe come together on their own campus to discuss issues of science and scientific literacy over a few pitchers of ale. Well, actually we would like to figure out how to turn ourselves into some sort of non-profit so we can write off beer costs, but that is an issue for our accountant.
Back to my original point... As you ponder your extracurricular activities this term, consider taking a moment out of your busy schedule to gather some like-minded individuals and start an O.O.T.S.S.O.E.R.A.A.A.P chapter on your campus. The criteria for membership is simple. Members must be:
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- not opposed to alcohol.
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- fond of IPCC reports (especially the pictures).
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- mostly in agreement with the "truth."
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- into badges.
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- grieving for the slow and miserable death of the Hubble Space Telescope.
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- possibly possessed of supernatural powers.
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- committed to the constant and diligent presentation of science stories, be it to editors, producers, directors, educators, relatives and/or friends of various ilk, in an effort to lessen the gap that is this thing we call public scientific literacy.
Should you elect to join this noble organization, you will have access to our vast array of scientific merit badges. These include awards such as the "Dodger of monkey shit" badge, the "Knows how to collect semen from more than one species" badge, and the coveted "Have violated the posterior of an animal in the name of science" badge. Lest you think we are biased towards awarding badges for activities involving animals' nether-regions, we also have the "My degree inadvertently makes me competent in fixing household appliances" badge, the "I actually AM a freakin' rocket scientist" badge, and the "I may look like a scientist, but I am actually also a pirate" badge.
So if you like beer and badges, sign up. We're nice people that your Mom and Dad would approve of, and drinking beer and making up ideas for badges is one of those skills that you just might need when you have an Important Job in The Real World, like Chief Executive Officer in Charge of Awesome.
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JENNIFER GARDY 
Comments
Hey Nerd Girl,
Which Globe editor are you related to?
None of them, Mr. Paine. My sole connection with the Globe prior to undertaking this blog is that I have always been a fan of their crosswords.
Keep up the excellent pamphlets, by the way. The one on Agrarian Justice was a titillating read.
So Nerd Girl - what merit badges have you earned? What are you working on next?
Hi Jenn, congrats on the blog, this is a huge jump from the 432 and SUS social coordinator.
Liar!
"that the point of university was, in fact, to equip you with the skills you need in order to be someone who is actually capable of doing an Important Job in said Real World."
What a load of nonsense! I know for a certain fact, that you personally have not benefited one iota from this silly time of time wasting.
What, just because you have a PhD in whatever and you are doing some sort of research saving people or something, you think you learned something in undergrad? Bah! you could have learned more watching DVD's of MacGuyver. Besides, those "clubs" and "extracurricular" activities you are mentioning, that doesn't sound like nerd activities to me. Nerds are supposed to sit in the basement and play Axis and Allies, or dungeons and dragoons or Warcraft. Nerds aren't supposed to "go out" or "socialize". How is that going to develop pasty complexions and limp hand shakes? You're destroying all my long formed stereotypes of nerds and geeks.
And who do you think you are fooling wearing a cocktail (ha ha Cocktail) dress under a lab coat? We all know that hot women can only save the world by wearing lingerie under their lab coat.
Jake Gray
Chief Executive Officer In Charge of Awesome and Chairman of Awesome,
Awesome Inc International.
A club called the Order of The Science Scouts of Exemplary Repute and Above Average Physique.
While you say any of us can join, I already feel like an outcast since the only thing "above average" about my physique is my weight. Despite being in excellent shape upon leaving high school, I quickly began to fill out (probably due to living in the south and generally having all the schools cafeteria foods containing no less than 110% daily values of every imaginable fat and/or lipid.).
So, am I able to join despite my excess fatty tissue?
Well written and interesting. I think it is hard to find a science major that can write as well as you can. If the Hubble Telescope stops working I won't have anything to do with my friends on a Saturday night while drinking and looking at the pictures. It has to be said,If I discovered a planet and named it "my dick", you would be welcome to visit.
Undergraduate nerd at Carleton University here. I'm majoring in psychology and building a computer game for autistic children with the engineering faculty. I've loved both your posts so far. It brings back not so fond memories of my pre-university years but now that I'm doing post-secondary I love it. Well aside from the fact I just finished an assignment on the importance of alpha levels in hypothesis testing and have five journal papers to read before tomorrow. Woe is me!
i wonder if nerd girl would've even gotten this gig if she weren't as attractive as she is (seeing as how she's not related to an editor).
just an observation is all.
Realist - that's horribly sexist. I don't know if you noticed, but she can really write. Would you ever have questioned a hot male scientist writing this blog? Are nerds only nerds if they're nerdy looking?
"....The criteria for membership is simple. Members must be:
- not opposed to alcohol.
..."
Why is every social gathering for scientists has to be alcohol related? IMO, it is a bit unfair to those who can't drink.
Realist-how do you know that picture is really her? hahaha. Even so it can be very much photoshoped..just like every pics in magazines.
Can't we all just talk about the science? C'mon. Group hug everyone. Hug it out. That's better.
Realist - I like to think this gig would have been mine whether I wore a bag over my head or not. In descending order of journalistic merit, I've co-hosted (and blogged) CBC Television's Gemini-nominated pop science TV show Project X; published stacks of freelance science writing over the last several years, including a magazine cover article; copy-edited and fact-checked the first few issues of SEED Magazine before they moved south of the border; toiled away at the Montreal Gazette for a year and a half; and spent most of my undergrad education dodging classes in favour of working at the campus rags.
And to respond to yours and others comments on the last blog, I've had a blast being a post-doc for the last three years, as it leaves me the time to pursue new discoveries without having to worry about classes, teaching obligations, or the constant search for funding. So many people I know have said that in terms of "doing science", the post-doc years are as good as it gets - as long as you're in a lab that you mesh well with, you're pretty much free to pursue your own ideas and interests and not have to worry about too much else. It's what every scientist wants, really. On top of that, post-docing affords me the flexibility to be able to do things like take some time off to shoot a TV series - something that simply wouldn't be possibly if I had gone straight into an industry job. I'm moving on soon to a full-time science communication career, but I would not have traded the opportunity to do unencumbered research that my post-doc afforded me for anything.
Now on to more pertinent matters - MY BADGE COLLECTION. I have thus far earned the right to display the following:
1. Talking Science - all O.O.T.S.S.O.E.R.A.A.A.P must display this
2. Nya nyah nyah nyah nyah, I've got a TV gig - my work on CBC's Project X netted me this one
3. I blog about science - in fact I'm doing it at this very moment
4. I'm pretty confident around an open flame - bunsen burners and I go way back
5. Inappropriate nocturnal use of lab equipment in the name of alternative science experimentation / communication - I'm not going to say how I got this one because my parents read this blog. Hi Mom. Hi Dad.
6. Sexing up science - if one is suspected to have landed a gig on a certain website solely by virtue of being attractive, surely this badge is warranted
7. Will gladly kick sexual harasser's ass - see above
8. Has frozen stuff just to see what happens, Levels I-III - attaining level III was the most fun. My friends and I froze various things in some liquid nitrogen we had procured and then threw them against the wall to see what would break. The frozen orange exploded quite nicely. Shame we never cleaned it off the wall. That got ugly.
9. Respect me - I’ve published at an upper tier publication for popular science readership - Go ahead, PubMed me.
10. Worship me - I've published in Nature or Science - I think I should be awarded a portion of this badge for authoring a review article in Nature Reviews Microbiology. That merits at least 1/16 of this badge, I'd say.
11. Pharma shill - our lab launched a bunch of spinoff companies active in drug development. By virtue of having to sit through their meetings, I get this badge. Pharma isn't so bad. They have free sandwiches at meetings.
12. I know what a tadpole is - It's true. I do.
13. Cloner - Got this badge before I switched to the dark side that is Bioinformatics.
14. Experienced with electrical shock, Level I - Sorry froggo, the lab made me do it.
15. Somewhat confused as to what scientific field I actually work in - everyone in Bioinformatics gets this badge.
16. Statistical linear regression - I have used it. I am scared of it, but I have used it.
17. I've set fire to stuff, Level I - who hasn't, really?
18. Has done science whilst under the influence - the 3-martini lunch isn't just for businessmen.
Hi NerdGirl,
Sure, you're clever with words, and it is nice to have an actual post-doc writing a science column. Just a tip - try to muster a dram of humility in these posts. I hate to be mean, but they do come across as 'I'm a researcher, and let me tell you how much I know and how great I am'. Academia has a (perhaps deserved)reputation for producing large egos, and it would be nice to show the world that we're real people - even if we have to pretend. Otherwise, nice job.
Geek the Greek.
Uncalled for. My self esteem is as fragile as yours appears to be and my finely honed nose for arrogance didn't detect anything untoward. Her column is about the ups and downs of being a science nerd not about being a monster truck fanatic. The dialogue is appropriate for the audience.
Sometimes I think some of the scientists are trying too hard to be "cool" and "fun"...most of the time it just backfires and looks ridiculous.
Nice Column Nerd Girl,
I just want to point out that Beer Based Clubs aren't just for Science Students! UBC also had/has several other groups of this nature, in various faculties. I think my personal favs were The Radical Beer Faction, and The Bzzr Gardening Club.
Remember, keep UBC green!
- a former contributer to the Ubyssey and the NEUSletter.
EUS 95 - I would be remiss if I did not point out that yours truly ran for VP external on the RBF slate in 1999, a year notable in that it marked the first time we ran a traffic cone for a position. I managed a respectable 497 votes (92 more than the traffic cone got!), probably thanks to my plan for UBC's secession from Vancouver which was to be led by my sock puppet dictator friend Generallissimo Socko. Someone placed some old and moderately embarrassing campaign photos up at http://radicalbeerfaction.tripod.com/oldpics.html.
A suggestion from an environmental scientist. Since your group claims to be stating truths you should really get it right:
"Global Warming is real, and (by the way) it's all our fault" is not strictly true.
Strictly speaking we are not seeing global warming in most locations but rather a change in climate which, based on the preponderance of evidence, is due, in whole or in part, to human influence. As such, were I asked to re-state number 3 in a manner that would be considered defensible by a vast majority of the practising scientists in your audience I would go with:
"Anthropogenic climate change is real"
The benefit of rephrasing is a shorter, more easily defensible (and frankly more elegant) statement.
Cheers,
Sounds like a good time, wish I were back on campus. The UVIC equivalent involved Friday 2pm outings to the campus pub, then to whoknows. Usually to observe Newton’s second law in action at the bowling alley, and to determine the torque on the ball needed to achieve the desired rate of change angular momentum. Yeah I torque, do you? Somehow everyone (ladies too) likes to bowl after a few. As scientists, I hope that you have discussed the viscosities of various alcohols and its direct effect on consumption rates.
If you're a nerd, PLEASE, let there be more like you. Really smart people seem to be in short supply. Really smart people who are as beautiful as you are very rare. (Much of human behaviour is genetic...I can't be blamed for lusting after you.)
"grieving for the slow and miserable death of the Hubble Space Telescope"
This is definitely sad, though partially balanced out by the excited anticipation of the James Webb Space Telescope.
Milan
sindark.com
Hey Geek the Greek,
Sounds like somebody's jealous of Nerd Girl. Large egos can be well deserved, probably in this case too. After all, she's got 2.5 degrees, published articles in popular and scientific publications, history as the VP of RBF and like 18 badges for OOTSSOERAAAP badges! That's one helluva bite to match the bark! Crack open a box of chill pills and drown them with some precious suds my friend, Nerd Girl's earned the confident swaggar conveyed in her posts.
I think the nerd-geek-dork continuum would be well served with a Venn diagram.
Wow, I didn't know you ran with RBF. 99' was my first year at UBC. I became friends with many RBFers a few years later. Nothing like running a platform based on bzzr gardens.
Oh, and the 432:
Helping students pass time in lecture since 1987.
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