Posts tagged with high.

Dated haircuts and needless panic

Ian Wylie, March 6, 2009 at 3:25 PM

It's almost two years since I graduated from high school and my old haircut already looks dated. Like most people, I have mixed emotions about that period. I have no desire to return. However, I recognize its importance. I'll inevitably snoop on my ex-classmates' Facebook pages for some time, tracking who's married and who's not.

 

I liked high school because it did a lot for my identity. It fostered a love of plaid shirts, for example.

 

However, in March of my senior year, I began to lose confidence in the institution. March was when I received my first acceptance letters from university. Around then, I started asking questions I couldn't answer. Where did I want to go and how would I get there? I didn't know. All the preparations for adulthood I'd been making seemed flimsy.

 

I panicked. I deferred my admission at two schools and took a year off to work. I didn't want to spend $18,000 to noodle around at a school I didn't want to attend. I wanted direction.

 

Outside of high school, I found direction. I don't know if it was the asbestos in the walls or the lead water pipes but my old high school created a lot of confusion for me. Outside of it, I could think with clarity.

 

I don't think you need a gap year to find clarity. You do need space, time, self-reflection and the advice of adults. Old people know a lot of stuff. Eventually, you'll be able to understand and shape the factors that pretty much every student faces. Factors that you can put in an equation like this:

 

P + B + W + Y = DL

 

Where,

 

P = your parents.

B = your budget.

W= whatever set of ideas or beliefs you follow.

Y= you and your (in)experience.

DL = the Doctor or Lawyer. Like half the world's students, this was my default career setting.

 

I don't know everything yet. I don't know where I am going. I do have goals that ask a lot of me. I have a field of study and I know what my interests and skills are. I also know my bad habits, which is also important.

 

If I were to tell my 17-year-old self one thing, it would be to chill out. I'd say you've an enormous amount of time to figure it out. Enjoy the last months of your free education, skip a class or do something crazy. Because on the final day of class, when you're hanging in the parking lot under the afternoon sun, that's it. From now on, everything will be a little different.

Tagged with student, school, high, panic, future | Comments (4) |

holidays and fading high-school friendships

Ian Wylie, December 31, 2008 at 3:46 PM

I attended my first Christmas party of the holiday season last week. It was with some friends I made in high school. I wore brown corduroys and a thick wool sweater. I sipped a nice glass of mellow red wine over polite conversation and nibbled on bruschetta, placed delicately on toasted French bread rounds. By the evening's end I noticed that I and my friends had seemingly aged four decades in four months. We lacked wrinkles, wrist watches and leather loafers but we were civil enough to be the image of adult decency.

I like to think our classy party is indicative of a blossoming maturity, a rejection of excess in lieu of responsibility. However, New Year's Eve will undoubtedly bring typical Bacchanalian indulgence.

What explains the classy Christmas party then? The Christmas party is made for conversation and catching-up. New Year's is made for downing too many beverages, vomiting on your friend's carpet and crying in the bathroom.

Maintaining friendships after high school is no easy feat. The list of people you associate with from your teenage years inevitably dwindles. Relationships diffuse over multiple area codes, interests shift and personalities change. If effort isn't expended, friendships are easily shed. You may still be friendly with the people you once knew, but you're no longer joined by steely bonds formed over the passions of youth. Like winsome Joe Jonas and his equally charming brothers.

The Christmas party is an attempt to reverse the downward trend. It's effective, much better than a list of never-contacted names on Facebook. It's casual. It isn't long enough to feel like an intrusion or an obligation. And by the end of the evening, you have a satisfactory feeling of having maintained something for another year.

Coming back on the train from my party, I sat across from a bespectacled man in his forties. We were wearing the same clothes: black coat, wool sweater, brown pants and brown shoes. He added a Santa hat. I imagine he was returning from a Christmas party of his own. I assume in a few decades that will be me, less the polyester Santa hat. I find polyester to be abrasive on the ears.

Tagged with school, years, high, parties, new, friendships, christmas | Comments (18) |