In my last post I mentioned that some of the most valuable things I learned this semester were taught outside of the classroom. And while I facetiously sketched out some pointers involving leisure wear and public drunkenness, and endorsed the delicious Korean instant noodle snack Chapagetti (an act for which I await compensation from Nong Shim Co., Ltd.), a few equally important points were overlooked.

Most of them have to do with health. I never worried about physical means of survival until I left home and became responsible for them. By the time midterms arrived I was subsisting on ramen, cheap table wine, and chocolate covered almonds from the Beanery. My sleeping habits were roughly nocturnal and my personal hygiene was the minimum necessary in order to remain a member of society. Doubtless many before me made similar mistakes and doubtless many after will as well. But in the interests of shrinking the second group, it would be worthwhile to go over a few points, some techniques I've learned over the past four months. These may seem obvious to established students, or people who have moved beyond the academic life; but if any university freshbloods out there are wondering how to maintain a steady existence during their first year at school, hopefully this will be of help.

If it's a little late in the year to bring these up, that's only because it took the first semester for me to learn them. In the interests of space I've split this list into two parts. The first deals with some very basic concepts; the second contains some less obvious suggestions, and will follow in a second post. Maybe they will help my fellow students make resolutions for the New Year. At the very least, they might make second term less hectic than the first. So, without further ado, I present some tips to help new university students uphold physical and mental stability in 2010.

1. Eat well.

A couple of weeks ago I got to try Domino's new bread bowl pasta: Noodles, served in a vessel made of dough. It's like the company had a surplus of white flour and oil, and decided to get rid of it by feeding it to people. The only reason I got to sample this gastronomic delight was that my friend had extra points on his university meal card, points which can be used not just to purchase food from his residential cafeteria, but from just about any carb-monger with delivery service to UBC.

Just because you can eat something doesn't mean you should. This is easy to forget, especially if your school's meal plan extends to fast food and take-out. It may be fun only to eat foods whose principal ingredients are salt and cardiac arrest, but eventually it will catch up to you - and not just in terms of waistline expansion. It can hurt your academic aspirations as well. After all, food affects how your brain works. Maintaining some semblance of a balanced diet keeps the cogs turning and decreases your chances of crashing half way through a pop quiz.

If you have access to a kitchen, you may want to consider cooking your own food rather than subscribing to a school meal program. In addition to allowing you more control over what you eat, it can be an opportunity to improve your cooking and budget management skills. And if that sounds like the most boring thing ever, keep this in mind: Romantic partners of any gender or sexual orientation love a significant other who can cook. The path to anyone's heart is through their stomach, so long as you can find the right recipe. That being said, sites like Super Cook can help you put together a meal based on what ingredients you already have - ideal for those situations where you've already blown the dinner budget on apperitifs.

2. Exercise

Often, in the past, I would see people running down the street wearing shorts and listening to their iPods, and wondered why they didn't just take the bus to get wherever they were going. Eventually somebody explained the situation to me. I now realize those people were "joggers," and what they were doing is called "exercise." Will the human species ever cease to baffle?

This novel technique - which involves physically exerting oneself without being paid to do so - is gaining popularity. Indeed, regular exercise has been linked with improved mental health, not to mention the physical benefits of using your body for what it was designed to do. Most university campuses are rife with activities - ranging from ultimate Frisbee to yoga - that are available at greatly reduced fees for registered students. Since availability and cost are more or less taken care of, the only thing preventing you from getting active is your own disgusting laziness.

3. Sleep

At some point during exams this year, I managed to stay fully conscious for 36 hours. While there's a certain sick pride in proving to yourself that you can break free of a regular sleep schedule and go to bed when you want and on your own terms, the experience is anything but liberating. If you force yourself to stay awake for long enough, you eventually realize you cannot get to sleep.

There isn't any need to go into depth here - I think the benefits of a regular sleep cycle are widely recognized enough that it's not necessary to defend them. It should be emphasized, though: Sleep matters. Don't be tempted to make the same mistake I did. There is nothing to do at 3 AM when everybody else is in bed and you are unable to keep your eyes closed. In fact, the isolation may drive you a little mad...

...Which leads into my next point and the second half of this list, with more tips on how to make the next semester of university endurable.

I wandered into the office of the Ubyssey last week, enticed by promises of free snacks. Before I had time to get my bearings, I'd been coerced into drawing an editorial cartoon. I explained that my efforts would never produce something on par with one of the masters of the genre, but staff members - a hardy race of dwarves who dwell in the subterranean bowels of the Student Union Building - assured me that they had the lowest expectations. Literally any two-dimensional figure would do. No Ubysseyan is capable of holding a pencil, their hands having grown knotty and crabbed over years of typing editorials and forging blades of legendary power. Thus the need, occasionally, to steal away mortals from the Realm of Men. I was ready to bolt for the door, until I learned that my labours would be rewarded with taquitos - crisp, savoury pastries prepared by the basement folk on festive occasions. The scent of microwaved bean-paste filled my nostrils. There was no choice but to stay.

It seemed like I stayed there for only an hour. But when I emerged blinking into the daylight, gray whiskers reaching down to my midriff, I realized that nearly a week had passed. Time works differently in the Otherworld than in our mundane universe. That's when I understood, to my horror, the true purpose of the free snacks. I had dined at the table of the Gentry. Never again would I be able to return fully to the human realm. I was destined to become one of the knoll folk.

I'm sure I wasn't the only one to fall prey to such a trap. During these first couple weeks of classes, it seems as though the campus is full of people recruiting. Fraternities set up tents, offering students the opportunity to purchase friends on the go. Clubs (but, disappointingly, no Lodges) try to entice new members. Diverse sects (and, perhaps, some cults) hand out pamphlets and cards. I got one the other day that informed me "God is better than Sex." Turns out I had it wrong all along.

For the very first week, the Student Union Building was a sort of bazaar. Every time I passed through, phonemongers would try desperately to sell me a new three-year plan. Wizened women in brightly-coloured scarves proffered student lines of credit. Portly, loquacious merchants hawked UBC t-shirts to passersby. It was a gaudy and frantic scene, filled with the sort of crass consumerism that would have disgusted me in my teenage punk days. I've long since surrendered my pride and liberty to the mighty dollar, however, and the spectacle of thousands of my peers lapping up the excretions of Moloch seems only natural - comforting, almost. I myself plan on visiting the Imaginus poster sale this afternoon, and buying decorations for my room. Something "fresh," like a poster of Bob Marley, or a print of "Crazy Stairs."

It's not all buying and selling, though. There have been numerous opportunities to indulge in free hot dogs, hamburgers, and other delights. Last week a man showed up in my neighbourhood and began grilling. Within minutes, denizens of the area were lined up around the block, each patiently waiting their turn for delicious charred meat. Even in the 21st century, we're ruled by a mead-hall mentality straight out of Beowulf, a hunger for the communal carnivorous experience. If you grill it, they will come. I didn't realize how many people lived in Fairview Place until the free barbeque. I haven't seen most of them since. I can only hope for their sakes that the meat wasn't tainted with the same fairy magic that has made me a slave to the Ubysseyan Underlords.

The start-of-school fervour is dying down now. Already life is becoming routine. I'm more sleep-deprived than I have been in ages. Most of my classes start in the morning, and most of my drinking starts in the afternoon. Sleep usually happens very late at night, sometimes suddenly and without warning. Pretty soon I'll have to break the pattern and start behaving like something closer to an adult. Sleep deprivation leads to physical and emotional stress, and do you know what those lead to? The dread Pig Virus, that squealing plague that threatens to swallow our civilization whole. Everywhere there are hand sanitizers and posters warning about associating with the wrong microbes. My irresponsible behaviour could give the plague a toehold, allow it access to the delicate microsystem of the UBC campus. Soon, students will trot about on all fours, rooting behind trash bins for scraps, bathing in mud and feces as protection against flies and the hot sun. Spoiler warning: It will be Animal Farm reversed. Next year, maybe they'll serve pork chops at the first week barbeques.

Summer break has officially begun. But for a productivity-obsessed generation worried about tight job markets, summertime is no break. Rather it's an opportunity to build a résumé attractive to grad schools and future employers. 

Med school applicants jet to foreign countries for volunteer positions, wannabe scientists seek research positions with high profile professors, while the corporate minded get their first taste of the business through summer internships.

A prestigious summer job is a prerequisite on a solid application. An accoutrement to high marks.  On the other hand, the thinking goes, menial labour just sucks. 

I used to disagree with this mentality. In high school, employment in the fast food industry was not a bad option. I did my time and received a decent salary.

This summer, though, I won't be putting on the old grease stained uniform and faded nametag. 

After spending 8 months in Canada's largest university, my approach to summer employment has changed.  I realized this year how hard it is to get employed in my chosen field (journalism). In such a large school you understand pretty quickly that not everyone will end up with the job they want after graduating.

Without luck and talent, a goal you've had since you were small can quickly evaporate.

Like the overachieving automatons I used to begrudge, I no longer see the benefit of working minimum wage jobs to pay for an education that thousands upon thousands of people already have. The skills I need are cultivated outside the classroom. 

So, that's the great dichotomy. I have to earn an income to pay for my education and I have to practise the skills necessary to be employed. And summertime (or, as I like to call it, four months without five courses) is the perfect time to practise.  Still, I have yet to find a way to balance the two.

Right now I'm looking at a PR job, which offers irregular work. For now, it's the closest I can get to where I want to be. My parents, though, are concerned with my lack of a steady income and flirtation with debt. But life at 19 without a healthy cash flow is easier than at 30.