Posts tagged with national.
In praise of the ‘helicopter’ parent
I first heard of the term "helicopter parent" a few years ago when attending an open house at the University of Waterloo with my two oldest. During one of the sessions, the student speaker used the term to sneer at those parents she described as being "over-involved" in their children's education.
The term "helicopter parent" isn't reserved strictly for parents with children in university. Parents of younger students can be accused of "hovering" too close by, as well. But there seems to be a special level of contempt for those parents who dare to try and "meddle" in their older children's academic life.
So what's the potential fall-out and damage to university students with those kinds of parents? You know, the ones who are constantly intervening on their child's behalf, frequently contacting them by phone or e-mail?
According to the National Survey of Student Engagement, chances are, those students are doing extremely well in school. Better than their peers, in fact. (The survey looks at how much participating universities and colleges in the U.S. and Canada are encouraging activities shown to improve learning.)
Apparently there are tons of educational benefits to having helicopter parents. Compared with their peers, these students report greater educational gains, higher satisfaction, and, according to the survey, are engaged more frequently in many areas, including "deep learning activities," such as after-class discussions with professors and independent research.
This seems to completely contradict the popular notion that helicopter parents are control freaks who won't let go of their children, denying them their independence and freedom. Instead of finally acknowledging that their child is actually now an adult, they micro-manage every aspect of their life. Heck, if the kid makes it through school with good marks and has lots of friends, it's despite their control-freak parents. Unless they manage to rebel and break free of their parents, they'll never learn the meaning of responsibility and independence. According to popular belief, if they really wanted to do what's in their kids' best interest, helicopter parents should just back off.
Uh, except they shouldn't. At least, according to what the Washington Post calls "one of the nation's most respected college surveys."
Helicopter parents are actually doing their kids a favour by hovering close by.
My two oldest are headed into their third year of university. I've never met with their professors. When either of them have mentioned something like an unfair mark, I don't make any angry phone calls. I don't try to micro-manage their study habits, or call the student loans office on their behalf, either. But that doesn't mean I don't want to continue a close and supportive relationship with them.
When we ask our children - including those in university - about their marks or course selection choices, ask them what their plans are for graduate school, or express concern about their study habits, we're not "hovering." We're being parents. And, according to the National Survey of Student Engagement, our kids should be thanking us for it.
Tagged with
student,
national,
engagement,
parents,
helicopter,
survey
| Comments (36)
| 
